こんにちは
It’s been a long while since I wrote here … While I still have many reasons not to do this anymore, I have a couple of reasons to try it again. So here we go.
It’s a bit weird that my last post is from 1 year ago. I didn’t think it’s been that long! Feels like it was yesterday. I did get my masters’ in the meantime, and did some interesting things during the time, but for some reason I feel like I’m exactly where I was mentally a year ago when I stopped writing here. This time I’m gonna try and keep writing.
I also know that there were actually some people who read my posts before I deleted everything on here; I’m not gonna announce anything this time and just write for the sake of it. It is kind of a therapeutic experience knowing that some of my thoughts are just out there. I’ve also noticed that my thoughts are abstract by nature, which is very interesting. I used to think that I did this to “hide” what I was actually thinking. But for a while, I was writing in a personal journal instead, and noticed that my writing was still the same. Being an abstract thinker is a blessing and a curse at the same time, but I tend to think I’ve been able to turn it to an edge for the most part. I am able to think more “concretely” (or whatever the opposite of abstract is!) if I need to, but for the most part, I’ve never needed it that much, perhaps only in certain problem domains in a professional setting. And I’ve found that it’s not that I’m incapable of it, it’s just not my go-to :)
On another note, a part of my brain has been itching to start writing Rust again. It’s been a while, and I feel like it’s a good opportunity to dabble with it a little bit before I commit to a full time job or whatever comes next for me. I’m also probably going to get involved in a small startup, and might code a little bit in Swift and do some data analytics, so there’s that. Coding in Swift is very sentimental to me since it reminds me of the early days of me getting into coding and convincing my parents to buy me a macbook around 2013. Ironically, it’s one of the first memories I have of feeling pure joy!
And a final note, on trauma: I’ve always had a strong view on what trauma is, and the extent it actually affects people’s lives. I did personally go through some stuff in the last 2 years or so, but I still have the same belief for the most part … Trauma is definitely real, but I think most of how you respond to it is still your choice. There are always people who’ve had it easier/harder than you, but that should never even be a consideration or justification as to why YOU are acting a certain way. Having something traumatic happen to you can make it significantly harder to do what you know you should be doing, and you might have to deal with the side effects of it for a very long time, but that’s just life, unfortunately …